It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
