Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
