I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
