talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
NoShamevember. You game?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
