I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
