Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
