In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
