no, he came in my armpit
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
