Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
