Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
