I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
