Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
