She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
