I feel great
I just peed on a car
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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