He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
