i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
