wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
