I saw his package. It spoke to me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
