how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
is it fun? or sober?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
