i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
