Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
