It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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