I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
