Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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