Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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