ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
