He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
