No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
