Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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