Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
