i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
