she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
