So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
