I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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