You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
