on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
