Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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