Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She's JV to your varsity
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Boobs speak an international language.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
