In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
