FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
