I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
