i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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