Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Welp...herpes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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