Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
