Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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