my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
