Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
