Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
