Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
