Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
